obstinatecondolement: Deanna Troi from Star Trek: The Next Generation shown from the shoulders up, standing in front of a painting of a planet (Default)

Challenge #12

Tell Us about a Personal Win.

Share whatever wins you’re comfortable with telling us all about. Found a new fandom that makes you light up? One of your creations has earned more kudos than you dreamed of? Wins from life, new job, new school, new adventure? You have a couple of wins you want to celebrate, we want to hear about them. Share a win or two so we can cheer for you.

Post your answer to today’s challenge in your own space and leave a comment in this post saying you did it. Include a link to your post if you feel comfortable doing so.

Yesterday, another Porridge fan who is trying to make fetch happen with getting a transformative Porridge fandom going, reached out to me on Tumblr and linked me to a fic they wrote! The fic is called "a certain type of man" and the author who reached out to me is [archiveofourown.org profile] Ebenelephant. The basic premise is that Lennie Godber, one of the show's two leads, comes out to Lukewarm, a canonically gay secondary character, as bisexual. It's really well written, beautifully in-character and evocative of the show in the dialogue. It's very nice to read something with gen with a queer reading of a canon character, as well as something that features a more minor character. While I'm still very deadset on writing whatever I want, whether anyone cares to read it or not, it's nice to not have to make all my own fun in a small fandom in the Yuletide off-season and it's great to meet someone to talk to about the show and the characters.

Since I've mentioned stuff I've been writing though...

Challenge #8

Talk about a current fannish project (fic, art, vid, crochet, funko pop village) (that you are creating or enjoying)

Post your answer to today’s challenge in your own space and leave a comment in this post saying you did it. Include a link to your post if you feel comfortable doing so.

As well as various other WIPs I have bubbling away in the background, I am writing another Porridge fic at the moment that has been on the cusp of completion for a few days now, once I can muster up the willpower to knock the sex scene out of the way. I'm not shy about it, or anything, or in any way reluctant to imagine Ronnie Barker getting a good seeing to, but I often find smut kind of a grind to write and I get bored by it easily. I have been reassured by friends that this doesn't translate to the finished product, which still gets the job done, but, having been actively writing fic for about fifteen years at this point, it does just feel pretty staid and routine from behind the scenes, haha.

At any rate, I'm quite happy with how it's working out. It amused me that [archiveofourown.org profile] Ebenelephant had a bit in their fic where Godber mentions David Bowie in relation to bisexuality, because I did that too, haha. The parallel thinking there certainly not at all improbable, given we're in the 1970s here and Bowie is a very relevant cultural reference in discussions of bisexuality in that period, but it's nice that there are now enough of us in the mix that parallel thinking is occuring.

It was my hope to post a link to this still in-progress fic for my response to challenge #11, but it's not quite there yet, so in the mean time:

Challenge #10

Five Things! The five things are totally up to you. Post your answer to today’s challenge in your own space and leave a comment in this post saying you did it. Include a link to your post if you feel comfortable doing so.

In no particular order, here's five of my favourite things about Porridge:

  • Ronnie Barker's portrayal of Fletch is just so charming and funny and devastatingly relatable to me personally. He's funny, he's quippy, he's very keen to see if everyone's noticed his funny quips, he's a 'failure' by many conventionally understood metrics of fitting into mainstream society and is defiantly unashamed of it.
  • While it is very punny and gag-heavy, the dialogue is very naturalistic in its delivery and the vernacular it's written in, which feels very lived-in and realistic in a way that more contemporary media with a similar quip-per-minute rate don't to me.
  • While there are certainly aspects of the show that haven't aged great, in my subjective opinion it is a lot less uneasy viewing in terms of bigoted humour compared with a lot of its contemporaries and, even though it has unquestionably racist and homophobic aspects, its portrayal of McLaren, a Black character, and Lukewarm, a gay character, are overall sympathetic and I find them well-rounded and well integrated into the ensemble cast.
  • For a show that has been criticised for sanitising the image of British prisons at a time when they were rife with abuse, it is refreshingly cynical about the criminal justice system and the inequalities that it enforces and perpetuates.
  • Okay, fine, Richard Beckinsale is very pretty and I like to think about him trying his absolute best to shag Ronnie Barker, what do you want from me? I'm not made of stone.
    Ronnie Barker and Richard Beckinsale as Norman Stanley Fletcher and Lennie Godber

That's all for now! Hopefully I can circle back on #11 soon with a link to my new hyperniche fic with whatever the opposite of broad appeal is, haha.

Snowflake Challenge promotional banner with image of a cabin in a snowy wood. Text: Snowflake Challenge January 1-31.

obstinatecondolement: (SamTory red purple)

Search in your current space, whether brick-and-mortar or digital. Post a picture (a link to a picture will be fine!) or description of something that is or represents:

1. Something your favorite character would like
2. Something that makes you laugh
3. A fandom place you would like to visit
4. A fandom creator (pro or not) you'd like to meet
5. Something you find comforting
6. Something from a favorite TV series or movie from your childhood
7. A piece of clothing you love
8. A book or song with a color in the title
9. Something only someone in your fandom would understand

  1. Something your favorite character would like
    This one was tricky! For one, I have so many characters who I love it would be hard to single out out as my absolute number one favourite, and for another I am quite different from a lot of my favourite characters in the things I like, or at least am a bit short on stuff they'd like at the moment. So, in the spirit of a well-intentioned relative doing their very best:
    It's the thought that counts, Blorbo...

    A brown sock next to another partially knitted brown sock

    Who doesn't love nice, warm hand knitted socks? They're made from 100% alpaca fibre yarn! Well, almost 100%, there's a bit of polyamide in there to make them more hardwearing. But all the better, really, less darning! Really, Blorbo, you could be a little grateful.

  2. Something that makes you laugh
    This one was a lot easier, because I was in the middle of laughing at it when I first read today's challenge on the [community profile] snowflake_challenge community.
    You gotta make your own fun sometimes...

    Cover art for a podcast titled 'An Oral History of Trek Rarepair Swap with cosmic_llin and SweetPollyOliver, ft. misc. squeeing about the ships that started it all.' On the cover is an image of Worf and Data in front of a heart as well as one of Seven of Nine and Sarina Douglas.

    This is a once-off single episode podcast I recorded with my fellow [tumblr.com profile] trek-rarepair-swap co-mod [personal profile] cosmic_llin recently for [community profile] voiceteam's Mystery Box 2023 event. The challege was Temptation and [archiveofourown.org profile] bluedreaming tempted people to record a mini-podcast or oral not!fic about their favourite overlooked fandom/rare ship/etc., which I all but jumped at and immediately asked the mods if it would be okay to record something with a non-Mystery Box participant if I did the rest of the work of creating the audio work, i.e. organising, editing and cover art, etc., and fortunately they gave me the all clear.

    It was really lovely to record this with Llin and reminisce on the magical four years we spent modding [tumblr.com profile] trek-rarepair-swap together, the amazing community that built around it, the many wonderful fanworks that were created for it, and the Star Trek rarepairs of our own that inspired the creation of the swap.

    If you're interested, you can listen to the pod on AO3 via an embedded stream, or you can use the download link on the work to get a copy of the MP3. Or not, this is not intended as a hard sell, haha. But in my subjective opinion it is a pleasant 51 minutes of listening to two Star Trek nerds being silly.

  3. A fandom place you would like to visit
    Now, to be clear, I am not saying that this would be a good idea, but:
    All roads lead to...

    A photograph of a copy of the Discworld novel The Truth

    or rather away from, the Big Wahoonie itself: Ankh-Morpork! More specifically, the offices of The Ankh-Morpork Times to visit William de Worde, who in many ways is The pedantic, morally scrupulous, yet often a bit of a dick, OCD/autistic character of all time. Also, going to visit a newspaper office at a place that's vaguely analogous to a Gutenberg-era print shop is too good a chance to pass up.

  4. A fandom creator (pro or not) you'd like to meet
    I am going to cheat here and pick two...

    A photograph of two books: Throne of Jade by Naomi Novik and Axiom's End by Lindsay Ellis

    I went to World Con 2019 in no small part to see both of these creators. Sadly, Lindsay Ellis overslept, I think due to jet-lag, and missed the panel she was supposed to do on the day I had a ticket for, but I did get to go to two things where Naomi Novik spoke, which were both fabulous. In one, she read the first chapter of the then-upcoming A Deadly Education. She was a very engaging and funny speaker and had both sets of crowds in the palm of her hand.

    I've loved Novik's Temereaire series for years, and reading Spinning Silver was what finally got me to get my drop spindle out again after having it for a full year before then but not being able to figure out how to use it from videos, and I at long last managed to crack how to get the first bit of fluff to catch onto my leader thread, which has brought a great deal of fun and quality of life to me in the years since. From reading Novik's work, I really like her sense of humour and her ideas, and I think she'd be fun to chat to in a low stakes sort of setting.

    And, regarding my cheat-y second pick, it would be nice to see Lindsay Ellis speak in person at some point, even if I didn't get to "meet" her, since I didn't get the chance to see her panel in 2019.

  5. Something you find comforting
    This one was a doozy...

    A photograph of a Hobonichi 5-year-journal, with the top lefthand box for Jan 1 2024 written in. On the page opposite, a small photograph has been printed out and stuck down of a laptop playing an episode of Porridge on set up on a tray, which also has an in-progress brown sock on four double-pointed knitting needles sitting in front of it.

    I've blurred most of the handwriting here to protect the innocent, or myself at any rate, but this is a kind of three, or perhaps even four-for-one thing that I find comforting. Firstly, I find planners and journals very helpful in terms of using pen and paper as a better memory than my fallible meaty brain and in helping me unplug a bit and do something tactile to stop my eyes from getting too square from looking at a screen. Secondly, I also like printing out digital photos on either of my two Polaroid printers, because I so often lose my photographs when I change phones, or I never back them up, and it's nice to just have them somewhere printed out and maybe stuck down. Even, and maybe especially, silly fandom-y ones. Thirdly and fourthly, in the photo-in-the-photo here, you can see my current knitting project, which is another non-digital hobby I am trying to give more time to, and the show that's paused on my laptop in the photo is Porridge, which I've been finding to be very comforting to revisit recently.

    More specifically about journaling though, I have found that with my five-year Hobonichi journal, I've been trying to talk about the things, which so far this year have mostly been silly little fandom things, I'm doing that I want to remember five years from now, and that I want to remember how I felt about them at the time.

    It has been kind of interesting having a five-year journal for the first time, because I've been finding myself very hestitant to be too optimistic about looking ahead, knowing that I will be looking back on what I'm writing, because historically with journaling it has been a bit dispiriting reading about things I wanted/intended/thought I would do that never happened or didn't work out.

    But I suppose that's all part of life, really, and I do want to be able to capture how I really feel in part because I know it will change and I don't want to fall prey to thinking that I don't change my mind and that I've always thought X, Y or Z. The only constant is change, but I like to keep in touch with my past self and write my future self letters about how I'm getting on, you know? So I have, at the very least, been writing down that I'm worried about being optimistic and that it feels foolish, because I don't want to forget that's how I felt. I don't want to put on a brave face to my future self and hope the shame of having over-promised how well I'd do will keep me on the straight and narrow, but I also don't want to self-censor out of some kind of misguided PR-motivated impulse to not look foolish to myself.

  6. Something from a favorite TV series or movie from your childhood
    I actually had another plan for this one, until I saw this during the IRL portion of my scavenger hunt...

    A photograph of Vol 2 of the Mighty Morphin' Power Rangers trade paperback published by Boom! Comics.

    It wasn't actually the Boom! comics that got me into my brief, but intense, summer of writing Bulk/Skull fic and talking about Power Rangers on Tumblr in 2016, but it was this intense revisitation of my childhood favourite that led me to read the first few volumes of the MMPR and Go Go Power Rangers comics. I sort of fell off around Shattered Grid, and did intend on catching up again at one point, but there has been a lot of lamentation and rending of garments about writing choices that the comics have made from the people I follow on Tumblr who have kept up, so I may or may not at this point.

    Regardless though, it's nice to be reminded of my summer of Power Rangers, because that felt like a very pure and unabashed expression of fannish joy and I want to do that more often for whatever niche corners of fandom I find myself in. It was also around that time that I was revisiting a lot of stuff from my childhood again and allowing myself to just be self-indulgent and juvenile about liking what I liked, up to and including campy '90s shows with questionable monster costumes, which is another thing I want to remember to do more often.

  7. A piece of clothing you love
    In the context of #3, this one is kind of funny...

    A photograph of a blue Ray Spooner Aloha shirt with a repeating pattern of simplified illustrations based on the cover art of albums by The Beach Boys

    I coveted this Beach Boys-print Aloha shirt a lot before I bought it, because I was, at the time, trying very hard to be better about not buying things on the other side of the world impulsively and wanted to a) buy less new clothes in general and b) buy fewer clothes that weren't 100% natural fibres (this is 50/50 cotton and polyester IIRC). However, after about 5 weeks of sitting on my hands and Thinking Seriously about if I Really Needed it, I bought it. Just in time, really, because my size was very nearly sold out and it's a limited edition print that wasn't going to be brought back in stock. But I absolutely love it and I feel that it is very representative of me as a person, so I think that counts as mindful consumption, haha.

    I have been trying to be more comfortable with the fact that I am not ever going to be able to pull off the willowy androgyne, or tall lumberjack, take on masculinity just because of my basic body type, which even with HRT can only change so much. I will always be short and round with small hands and feet, but that's okay because there are lots of short, round-faced men (and otherwise masculine-of-centre people) and they are great, so if I'm more of the Justin McElroy school of masculine gender presentation then I want to do that very hard and on purpose instead of living in bland unisex clothes that I try to hide in. I've fallen off a bit on this fashion-effort lately, so this is a good reminder to keep persisting in trying to get better at this.

    And, regarding what I said about the relationship to #3, I wore this shirt when I was going to visit some friends in North Wales, one of whom happened to be wearing a Rincewind shirt when I got off the train. The friend wearing the Rincewind shirt took my luggage for me and my other friend remarked, shortly after I got done taking a photograph of the sign for Llanfairpwllgwyngyllgogerychwyrndrobwllllantysiliogogogoch,* "Um, so I've noticed something here..." and we all had a good laugh about me doing touristy things while I was doing an unintentional closet cosplay of Twoflower and my friend was channeling Rincewind at the same time. I, fortunately, did not leave my luggage in Wales, however.

    *Which, incidentally, is a request only stop, so I had to tell the conductor that it was where I was disembarking ahead of time, a task for which I prepared by relentlessly drilling myself with Welsh language tutorials on YouTube and getting Welsh friends at [community profile] vidukon_cardiff, where I was travelling from, to tutor me on the pronunciation before I left the hotel. All told, I spent almost a full day on this preparation (remember what I said about finding William de Worde relatable?), only, after all that, for the conductor to tell me he was getting off at Chester and I would have to tell the next fella.

    Should you ever be in this situation though, I have been reliably informed that you don't have to say the whole name, and would seem like a bit of a try-hard if you attempted to, and all that you need to do is say "Llanfair-PG" or, if you really want to seem like you're in the know, "Llanfairpwllgwyngyll." I tried the latter the first time pretty successfully with conductor #1, but stumbled at the fence by not taking a long enough run up to it with conductor #2, and had to resort to shamefacedly saying that I'd meant Llanfair-PG.

    The rather unfortuante thing is that even with an abbreviated version of the name in question, I'm really bad at the ll sound in Welsh (to say nothing of other sounds in Welsh that weren't there to trip me up on this occasion, like the trilled r), so I run into issues straight away. But, as an Irish person who gets very irate about tourists on the train who do not even attempt to learn how to say Irish language place-names and just blithely and confidently mangle them by assuming they should be pronounced like English, I wanted to do my best and make a genuine attempt. Which, unfortunately, was not amazing. Better luck next time, I guess, lol. At least I knew that written Welsh has it's own phonetic conventions that are not identical to written English, I suppose?
    [return to where you left off.]

  8. A book or song with a color in the title
    This is very cheeky, but...

    Cover art for a filk titled 'Under a Blanket of Green' and subtitled 'an ode to blanket permission'

    I also recorded this filk for [community profile] voiceteam's Mystery Box event. It's based on Under a Blanket of Blue, as performed by Louis Armstrong and Ella Fitzgerald. I was taking part in a Filk Broken Telephone and the work before mine was 'Meet me in the blanket fort' (based on Meet Me in the Battlefield) by [archiveofourown.org profile] irrationalpie, so this seemed like a good lead on from that and I liked the opportunity for green as a reference to [archiveofourown.org profile] BrickGrass's browser extension that highlights the usernames of users on [archiveofourown.org profile] Rindle's directory of creators with blanket permission statements for transformative works of their fanworks in green, because an audio fanwork event seemed like the right venue for a work about blanket permission statements.

    I do a fair bit of amateur singing and other kinds of music in a non-fannish context, but this is the first time I've made an attempt at a musical fanwork, so I hope it turned out okay. If I was doing it again I'd use my other mic, because this sounded a bit tinny, but I think it's listenable.

    If you're curious, you can click on the image itself to follow the link to the AO3 work, or for convenience, here's another link here. But absolutely no pressure, and I am linking purely in case people wanted to hear it to save them from hunting it down or asking for a link. My 2024 fandom mission statement is doing whatever I want whether people are interested or not, so if you're not interested then that's genuinely fine.

  9. Something only someone in your fandom would understand
    Some more cheekiness...

    A screenshot of a Porridge fic by SweetPollyOliver titled Cockatoo in Malibu

    Once again, the image is a link and here is another one, haha. But also, once again, I genuinely do not expect anyone to make use of either of these links and am just putting them there on the off-chance someone does want a link and, honestly, to scratch the itch caused by the HTML-fuelled goblin that lives in my brain.

    I'm mostly including this at all to show that I am walking the walk re: doing whatever niche bullshit I want as I resolved to as part of my day #2 resolutions, because I've already written another fic for one of the micro fandoms I nominated, requested, and offered for Yuletide,* in addition to the one I wrote for my assignment.

    I am 10,000% delighted with how well I did out of Yuletide this year—so much in fact that I still wanted to write more because I was all fired up. So I did. Even though it will be completely impenetratible to, I'm gonna say, 100% of the people who are subscribed to my AO3 profile. And I may still write more! I have an idea for a vid too.

    *And, happily, which I was gifted two wonderful fics for as well, Long Drawn Sunday Night by [personal profile] twoam and A Bit of Bottle by [personal profile] nomadicwriter, as having the opportunity to write one of my own, What Good Are Cupid's Arrows to a Fletcher Without a Beau?, for my recip [archiveofourown.org profile] Emma_Oz.
    [return to where you left off.]

I got very link happy in this, so if any are broken, give me a shout in the comments and I'll fix them.

Snowflake Challenge promotional banner with image of metallic snowflake and ornaments. Text: Snowflake Challenge January 1-31.

P.S. I've screened comments on this because of a minor brain weasels concern about [REDACTED], but I've unscreened every comment I've gotten so far and if yours is screened for a while I'm probably just asleep or haven't checked DW for a bit.

obstinatecondolement: Deanna Troi from Star Trek: The Next Generation shown from the shoulders up, standing in front of a painting of a planet (Default)

Challenge #4

IceBreaker Challenge! Tell us about yourself. Post your answer to today’s challenge in your own space and leave a comment in this post saying you did it. Include a link to your post if you feel comfortable doing so.

Oh, hmm, let me think about how to go about this in a way that's not just very fandom specific.

Here goes!

  • I love words and wordplay and writing sentence-level prose that I find sonically, or otherwise, satisfying (which I fixate on often at the expense of doing a better job with larger structural stuff, or in deprioritising writing things that sound plausible instead of that just make my brain fizz).
  • Another of my writing foibles is that I can't bear to write sad things that aren't in any way funny, or funny things that aren't a bit sad.
  • I am very over-confident and self-satisfied while also being profoundly insecure and embarrassed by every minute aspect of my person.
  • I often try to be a dilettante and an expert, with varying degrees of success.
  • I am instinctively very good at understanding cat body language, but had to learn human social skills from my culture of origin very deliberately and by rote and only really got the hang of them in my mid-twenties.
  • I'm really going to try to have one that is unambiguously positive now: I am well loved by many wonderful friends who I met through fandom.

obstinatecondolement: (Daniel red yellow)

Challenge #2

In your own space, set yourself some goals for the coming year. They can be fannish or not, public or private. Leave a comment in this post saying you did it. Include a link to your post if you feel comfortable doing so.

I've just reviewed the fandom goals that I posted for 2023 for day 12 of last week's Snowflake Challenge, and I did better on them than I expected to! I had a full success with 5/11, a qualified success with 8/11 (I gave myself a few cheats on three of them to make up lost ground), and made some progress on all of my goals, even the ones I consider failures overall.

Looking at what was easy, what I was just about able to pull out of the bag, and what I thought was going to be easy but then didn't manage, I'm going to make the following adjustments for my goals this year:

  • Participate in three fandom exchanges.
  • Create one treat for an exchange.
  • Create three pinch hits.
  • Beta read three fics.
  • Bind three books (none of which have to be a new typeset, or my own typeset).
  • Typeset three fics (they do not have to be the same ones I bind).
  • Record, edit, and post at least one podfic a month (one Mulligan is allowed if I miss a month and then make it up by posting two in another month).
  • Finish my podfic of Wedding is Destiny; and Hanging Likewise by [archiveofourown.org profile] sqbr.
  • Complete and post two fanvids.
  • Health and other circumstances permitting, attend two in-person conventions.
  • Comment on at least one fanwork a week.
  • Update Dreamwidth at least once a month.
  • Write whatever self indulgent niche fic I want to without worrying about whether anyone else will care about it.

The last one is more qualitative, because I don't want to set a hard target of "Write one fic no one cares about a month" or something, but I do want to get more comfortable with just pursuing ideas that I am interested by and want to write without being worried about Alienating People Who Subscribed To My AO3 Profile For [X Fandom] or that no one will read it, or whatever.

In general, I've tried to (slightly) scale up the goals that I succeeded on last year, and scale down the ones that I didn't, or make them less specific so there's a wider scope for success. Most of my goals are less specific than they were last year, actually, but I think that this is good because it means I might try more things. I've also dropped a couple of goals that I think are sort of done, or that I'm doing okay on without tracking them/setting a goal for them.

Snowflake Challenge promotional banner with image of igloo and northern lights. Text: Snowflake Challenge January 1-31.

obstinatecondolement: The character Mr. Messy from the Mr. Men books against a white background, similar to the cover of a Mr. Men or Little Miss book. The image is captioned, "Little Mx Executive Dysfunction." (little mx executive dysfunction)

I've been signing up for a lot of fandom bingo stuff and feeling Very Bad about how many bingo cards I have signed up for in the past and then never finished (or, in many cases, started), so I guiltily took a look at my [community profile] 100fandoms bingo card (never updated since I signed up in January 2019 until now) and filled out what squares I could from fic that I have posted since I signed up. Technically, it's not against the rules to use fic you wrote before signing up, but I wanted to limit it to what I've done since then. I was pleasantly surprised that I was able to fill out 23 squares even though I hadn't been actively working on it. Like, sure, it's nearly been five years, but it's certainly more than I expected given how all-consuming Cobra Kai was for me for a hot minute of several consecutive years there, lol.

I think I am going to keep chipping away at it, because going through my works on AO3 for all these various fandoms where I only ever wrote one (or a few) fics made me realise how much I like those works and how good I think a lot of them are. I said this in my update to the post I linked above, but I have often felt inhibited from writing in certain fandoms either because I think No One Will Care outside of Yuletide season, or because I only have 1–3 ideas in me for that fandom and I don't want people to be disappointed if I just breeze through, drop a few things they like, and then leave forever. But, like, that's very silly. I should write things because it's fun and because I like them before I worry about My Public. I am not a professional writer whose livelihood depends on having a wide readership and nor do I have to tie myself down to a specific Brand Identity to avoid confusing or alienating readers who liked my X books but then hated my Y books. It's just for fun! So I should have fun! Which I do, when I let myself, so I think I'm just gonna take this as a sign to give fewer shits and just write the damn thing if I have an idea I am compelled by.

obstinatecondolement: Bernard Black from Black Books pictured from the shoulders up with an intent expression on his face. The image is captioned, "Do you have anything in an aquarium?" (aquarium)

After having a quick review of the fandom goals I made as part of my new year's resolutions, I had a bit of a scout around to see if there were any podfic related comms I could join to help with that portion of my goal.

To that end, I've signed up for [community profile] communal_creators which has a number of tiers for committing to creating different kinds of fanworks between September 15–October 15 (participants celebrating the High Holidays can start 7 days early or end 7 days late to make up days they will be taking off for religious observance)

I signed up for... a lot of different commitments, because my touching optimism in my own ability to follow through on things remains untouched by years of evidence to the contrary.

Here are some thoughts I've had about the tiers I signed up for, which I've copied and pasted from my intro post on the comm.

Time tier 1: 15 min/day averaged over a week

So this one is fairly self explanatory. I want to make sure that I'm keeping my hand in in general.

Craft tier 2: A moderate project completed

I was thinking of maybe making a little doll based on a character from one of my fandoms along the lines of Star Trek dolls I have made in the past—that link just goes to one set of such dolls (Jadzia and Worf), by the way, I've made some others too (Seven and Sarina Douglas; Worf and Data; Kira and Kimara Cretak).

But I may end up working on finishing one of my (many) non-fandom UFOs instead, depending on how I'm feeling closer to the time.

Podic tier 1: A complete podfic (or combo) of at least 5 minutes

I think that I'm probably going to try and record another chapter of my long dormant WIP, which is a repod of [archiveofourown.org profile] sqbr's Mary Bennet/Anne de Bourgh Pride and Prejudice fic: Wedding is Destiny; and Hanging Likewise (content warning: period typical depictions of sexism, ableism and homophobia (internalised and externalised)—although it is also a pretty atypically optimistic take on a lot of things relating to being a disabled Regency lesbian, by the standards of most fic with those tags, which I enjoy a lot). I started this pod very soon into my ventures into podfic and hadn't really realised that posting things as WIPs was not the usual practice. I've also had a lot of set backs in working on podfic between equipment issues and not having a lot of quiet time to record, so I'd love to get more forward momentum on this project.

Vidding: A completed vid(s) of at least 1 min up to 2 min

So I realised that the idea I had is probably too long for tier one, but I do have A Lot of things on my to-vid list, so I will not be stuck.

I've also had a lot of setbacks with vidding since I started out (I began in 2019 and have posted all of 14 vids since then 👀). I really didn't understand the specs necessary for video editing software when I started vidding, so I very innocently started out with my just-under-4GB RAM laptop and perpetually almost at capacity SSD with all my source on my drive instead of external storage. This has been Challenging, but I have managed to bully Vegas into working within those limitations. 14 times anyway. I've been threatening to get a new laptop for literally years at this point and I am going to really, really try to actually do that within the next week. I basically need to transfer money out of my credit union account and into my current account, which involves going to the credit union in person because I keep forgetting my PIN for online banking immediately after I have it reset, so as you can see: it's basically a near-insurmountable barrier to entry I'm dealing with here 🤣

Writing: 3000 words (fic or meta)

I am currently posting a chapter of a Good Omens WIP every Sunday (content warning: fic linked contains depictions of depression and pregnancy (which is unrelated to the depression)). The last two chapters will be posted within the time span of this event, so those may well count towards/make up my writing goal, but I have also been writing quite a lot recently and I have a few ideas that I've been itching to write, so I don't think I'll be stuck.

obstinatecondolement: Text in a variety of fonts against a black background that reads, "Thanks for coming to my TED Talk" (TED talk)
(The footnotes are anchor links that you can follow to the end of the page. At the end of each footnote is a return link that will bring you back to where you left off in the post)

I think I have discovered what the difficulty I have with writing fic* longer than 1K words is: I get impatient and want to be done, and in my head I kind of consider 1000 words to be the boundary between "tiny thing I dashed off for fun, carelessly" and a one-shot, so once I got there I mentally clocked off and looked for a point where I could quietly slip out the door. But recently, I have been persisting past points where I could technically fade to black, or end with a scene break and I've been able to produce things that are (slightly) longer. Not, like, 100K or anything, but I knocked out something that was 3K in the first draft and then grew to 4.3K in the second today. Beyond that, I have written a number of things recently that were about 2K. Which I do realise is still short as fic goes, but it is 100% longer than what (I think) my usual word count is.

I think part of what has made the difference is that I've written for a fair few events recently, which has meant I can't post them right away, so I've gone back and fiddled with them for longer and the word count naturally grew as a result. I've also been waiting to have things beta read more, recently, when I have historically been more of a shoot-from-the-hip type who just reads through once or twice for SPAG and then puts it straight on AO3, more or less hot off the presses. When I have to wait a few days for someone to have a chance to look at it for me, I, again, fiddle some more with it and it gets longer.

And like, again, if you look at my AO3, you will see several things that I've posted recently that are less than 1K words, so it's not as though this transformation has been complete and immediate and that I've put out heaps of things that are longer than my usual fare. And in the fics that do reflect this change, it is very subtle, and, honestly, probably only really obvious to me, because I know exactly where I would have stopped before and I can see all the words that I wrote after that point. Also I have a few things that I'm sitting on in my GDocs that aren't on AO3 yet, so the full picture isn't available to The Public yet.

I have always felt an enormous amount of shame about writing shorter pieces and if this is literally all that was holding me back I will be absolutely livid. I've had so many comments that either praise me for "packing so much into such a short little fic" or ask in dismay where the rest of it is and both feel incredibly humiliating to me. Whenever I see people bemoan things "suddenly growing to 10K" I get achingly jealous, because it is such a fucking slog for me to get to a tenth of that and I feel like I'm chiseling out each word in stone sometimes.

I mean... honestly, I do think that it's not Just that I'm being more patient and persisting? Like, words are coming easier to me now, to the extent that I'm finding I have to go back and edit myself down to express things more succinctly. Which has never really happpened before. I tend to be incredibly efficient with the words that I use** (as many well meaning commenters have informed me, lol), but now I'm waffling on for a paragraph when I could say what I mean in a sentence.

But anyway, it is strange to be turning corners with writing, at this point in the game, without having consciously made an effort to change anything. I've also found that I at some point I leveled up my reading comprehension to the point that I can now understand and parse the definitions of various bits of grammar terminology, which has made understanding grammar rules a lot easier, because I don't end up thinking, "Well, I'm sure that would be very illuminating if I knew what the fuck a noun phrase was." I know what a gerund is now, who am I?

*By which I mean, "seat of the pants" fic that I don't plan in detail. I can write longer stuff that I write an outline for. Although each chapter typically does clocks in between 1-2K, every scene is always shorter than it is supposed to be per the outline, and several scenes get axed as I write the first draft, so my final word count is never as long as the planned word count. (return)
**In creative writing, anyway. I often, in real life or when blogging, get stuck in loops of trying to say the same thing in a way that cannot be misunderstood or misconstrued, which can get very wordy. (return)
obstinatecondolement: The character Mr. Messy from the Mr. Men books against a white background, similar to the cover of a Mr. Men or Little Miss book. The image is captioned, "Little Mx Executive Dysfunction." (little mx executive dysfunction)
I have done a bit of an archaelogical dig through my AO3 account and Google Drive to determine what days I wrote during February, so I could finally update my GYWO tracking spreadsheet for this month, before I had to do it in a desperate scramble at the end of the month when the check-in form went live.

Currently, I am on track for my annual goal and very slightly behind on my monthly goal. So I could either rest on my laurels until March, or shoot for another 6 writing days for the rest of Feb. I'll probably go for the latter, so I have a bit of a buffer built in for times when writing is just not happening.
obstinatecondolement: Text against a black background which reads, "And we went into what historians called the stupid fucker period." The text is in all caps and the last three words are in white while the rest is in yellow. There is a line drawing of a lightbulb drawn in yellow in the bottom left corner (stupid fucker period)
You know what actually? Finishing my KK/CK manifesto does count as having written today, so I'm going to go ahead and update my GYWO habit tracking spreadsheet to reflect that.
obstinatecondolement: Deanna Troi from Star Trek: The Next Generation shown from the shoulders up, standing in front of a painting of a planet (Default)
I posted the last chapter of a fic I've been working on since December and it has gotten very little response. I don't believe in a transactional view of fandom and I don't think anyone owes me comments or anything, but it is always a little sad when the things you put more effort into sink without a trace.

On that note, it's so hard to know what will responate with people! Probably one of my most popular fics in Cobra Kai fandom is about 600 words of nonsense I wrote in half an hour to amuse a discord server. I don't want to be frustrated by that, but I kind of am. I suppose if all I cared about was sheer numbers though I'd just set sail for a big fandom and write the main OTP, but I always go where the love is and the love tends to get increasingly niche as time goes by.

Argh. Anyway. I'm also a bit down in the mouth because now that my story is finished I don't know what to write today for my GYWO goal. It's amazing how long 410 words can be...
obstinatecondolement: Deanna Troi from Star Trek: The Next Generation shown from the shoulders up, standing in front of a painting of a planet (Default)
A deck of tarot cards I bought arrived in the post today and I spend some hours colouring the edges with a metallic gold marker.





I got them as a writing tool and I'm looking forward to using them! I shuffled them and drew one card once I got them unwrapped and I drew the two of pentacles, which seems auspicious as one of its secondary meanings relates to writing. Could the time I spent making the cards pretty have been better spent actually writing? Possibly, but consider this: they are prettier now.

Intro Post

Jan. 22nd, 2022 06:13 pm
obstinatecondolement: Deanna Troi from Star Trek: The Next Generation shown from the shoulders up, standing in front of a painting of a planet (Default)

[Updated Jan 2 2024]

I'm Art! My pronouns are they/them or he/him.

This got long, haha

As well as being [personal profile] obstinatecondolement here, I am also [tumblr.com profile] obstinatecondolement on Tumblr, obstinatecondolement on vidders.net (which I really must post some of my vids to!), obstinatecondolement on Vimeo (most of my videos are password protected, but they are all posted with the passwords on AO3), and (you guessed it) obstinatecondolement on my much neglected Pillowfort.

In terms of my other fannish pseudonyms, I'm [archiveofourown.org profile] SweetPollyOliver on AO3; [twitter.com profile] unmanlygrief on Twitter (Edit Jan 2023: but, uh, given current events, watch this space? Edit Jan 2024: Still there for now, but I probably would have deleted if I didn't want to do ITPE and since I do not think that will be on the-platform-formerly-known-as-Twitter in 2024, it's not unlikely that I won't be there much longer either, but I have made such threats before and not followed through on them), and I am also unmanlygrief on Discord.

Feel free to add me or PM/DM me on any of these platforms, or email me at obstinatecondolement@vidding.com if you'd like to get in touch that way.

Let's talk fandoms! I am an evergreen Star Trek fan, despite beyind disgracefully behind on most of the newer iterations of canon bar Lower Decks, and I was very monofannishly creating things for The Karate Kid and/or Cobra Kai for a good while, but I have started branching out again in the past few years. I am still a big TKK/CK fan (Cobra Kai never dies!) and mean to write some stuff on my to-do list, but I am not as intense with it as I was and other things have drifted in and out of my number one spot in the mean time.

Most recently, I've fallen very hard for the CBS Ghosts show, I had a very intense love affair with Succession that may be heating up again, I was massively invested in S1 of OFMD and slightly disappointed with S2 (although not as devastated as some were), I love Only Murders in the Building and am chipping away at some Mabel/Theo fic that has not yet seen the light of day, and I pretty recently reignited my younger self's love of the 1970s sitcom Porridge. I am a lifelong Discworld fan, but I only started writing fic in the fandom in 2023. As of now I have a handful of Discworld fics and podfics on my AO3 account that I hope to keeping adding to on and off.

Other things that are less to the forefront, but are still very much bubblings away in the background: I love Quantum Leap, both old and new, and am even now still rending my garments in lamentation over the Willow tv show and A League of Their Own (2022) being cancelled. And, honestly, I have lots of other fandoms, past and present, and there are a few that I often request for exchanges and am not usually "active" in otherwise.

The ways I participate in fandom are larely writing fic, but I am a bit of a fanwork dilettante and have also dipped my toes into vidding, podfic, fanbinding, writing meta (or jokey-joke posts, depending on how serious I am being at the time), making character/ship fanmixes, and putting together the occasional graphic (mostly podfic covers at the moment). I also have made a few fancrafts over the years! Mostly crochet dolls of Star Trek characters, like these ones. I have also betaed fic for other people and I would like to do that more often.

My transformative works policy can be found on my AO3 profile, but TL;DR, I give blanket permission for non-commercial transformative works of my fanworks.

Other things I do/have done in fandom are volunteering with the OTW as a tag wrangler and modding a few fandom events. I modded [tumblr.com profile] allvalley100, a weekly Cobra Kai/Karate Kid drabble challenge, with [tumblr.com profile] trinityofone from 2021–2023, I previously modded [tumblr.com profile] trek-rarepair-swap, a (first monthly, then quarterly) exchange where people created fanworks for each other's rare (which we defined as <50 works on AO3) Star Trek ships, with [tumblr.com profile] cosmic-llin between 2016 and 2020 and we have plans to revive it at some point when we have the time, and I will be starting a new podfic challenge called [community profile] tidepodchallenge in January 2024 where participants receive bingo cards with prompts and then fill them by making podfics of Yuletide works written by authors who give permission for podfics of their work. If you are a fan of podic, please follow the comm and, if you are a podficcer youself, consider signing up once I get the ball rolling on that in the next few weeks!

Non-fandom things to know about me are that I am bisexual, disabled, transmasc, a leftist, I love fibre arts and textiles (crochet, knitting, weaving, spinning, dyeing, sewing), I sing, I am (slowly) learning the cello, I love spreadsheets and planners (I am the most disorganised orderly person you will ever meet), I live with (most of) my siblings and parents, and, as well partial custody of the family pets (dogs, chickens, another cat), I have two very spoiled cats of my own.

I tend to go through phrases of being more and less active on Dreamwidth, but what I mostly post about here is just various things that are going on with me in real life, stuff about my hobbies, goals that I'm working on or thinking about setting, etc. I very occasionally post links to fanworks, but I will try to keep more up to date with that going forward, as I have found DW fandom to be very rewarding when I do go to the effort of being more active in it. This is also where I tend to post my exchange letters, so you will probably at least hear from me once a year when I sign up to Yuletide. Most of my more personal, non-fandom entries are access-only, but I'm very liberal about granting access, so don't feel shy about asking!

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obstinatecondolement: Deanna Troi from Star Trek: The Next Generation shown from the shoulders up, standing in front of a painting of a planet (Default)
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